COLBERT: "Okay, now, part of the reason Mueller might be investigating the dossier is that the Senate intelligence committee said yesterday that they've been unable to secure an interview with Steele and say that they've hit a wall on the issue. Of course, housekeeping hates it when you hit the wall. In response-- you'll catch up. Yesterday-- no, stop right there. Yesterday, trump tweeted, "I totally did it. I love the pee-pee. Enjoy! 'Maga!' And I'm being told they totally made that up, because here's what he really tweeted: "Why isn't the Senate Intel committee looking into the fake news networks in our country to see why so much of our news is just made up, fake!" Laugh "And while they're at it, how come you never see cookie monster's legs? Total conspiracy."
( Laughter )
COLBERT: "Of course, it's no secret that Donald Trump loves the ladies. It's been well documented in gossip magazines and court depositions. Well, on Tuesday-- based on a true story. On Tuesday, Brooke shields appeared on Andy Cohen's "Watch Andy Cohen happen live" and told this story about Donald Trump asking her out in the 1090s."
SHIELDS: "He called me right after he'd gotten a divorce, and he said, "I really think we should date because you're America's sweetheart and I'm America's richest man, and the people would love it."