EXCERPT:
COLBERT: “So, take heart, National Guard. Yes, your bodies and your bravery are the primary defense against a raging mob of homicidal yahoos. And, yes, some of the folks you’ve sworn to defend have been actively inciting those seditionists. But if the country survived, there’s a pretty good chance you’re getting a plaque. In fact, there are so many troops guarding our capitol right now that the 15,000 mobilized for inauguration equals three times the number of U.S. Troops in Iraq and Afghanistan combined. Well, the United States is known for sending in troops to prop up failed states. Hopefully, we’ll greet ourselves as liberators.”