COLBERT: “Hey, I have a quick question for you guys, if you don’t mind me asking. Anybody here use the Internet? You might want to knock that off because Congress has now voted to allow Internet providers to sell your web-browsing history. (Crowd booing) I understand that reaction. Now might be a good time to clear your browser history. Just hit that button, or pull the lever? I don’t know. I’ve never used it. I’ve got nothing to hide. I burned my computer this morning. So this is what’s wrong with Washington, D.C. Here’s the deal. I guarantee you, there’s not one person, not one voter of any political stripe anywhere in America who asked for this. No one. No one in America stood up in a town hall and said, 'Sir, I demand that you let someone else make money off my shameful desires. Maybe blackmail me some day. Please, give it to somebody else.' I can’t imagine anybody asked this to happen. I can’t believe they’re publicly taking the side of big Internet cable companies. Taking the side of a cable company? The only thing less popular would be if they passed a bill allowing traffic jams to call you during dinner to give you gonorrhea.”