TRANSCRIPT:
COLBERT: "'Now, it’s no surprise that a lot of people don’t want Trump. But a lot of people also don’t want Biden. According to new polls, few U.S. adults would be satisfied with a Biden-Trump rematch. As one voter put it, 'This is probably the most uniquely horrible choice I’ve had in my life.' Spoken like a man who’s never had to choose a bathroom stall at the Port Authority. 'That one, that one right there, that one somehow has three feet in it, and in that one, I can hear the toilet crying.'”