EXCERPT:
COLBERT: “So, the country’s in chaos. What we need is clear guidance from the CDC, which is why they issued yesterday, new guidance updating their recent five-day isolation rule with this simple addendum: people who have recovered from the virus and have isolated for at least five days can take a rapid test if they want, but they don’t have to. And those who test positive after five days from their initial test should isolate for another five days. Also, people who test negative or don’t get tested can go back to work, as long as they wear a mask. Ooh, I know this one! The answer is... The knife was an icicle! No, you take the chicken and the grain, and you vaccinate the fox! Am I– no.“