COLBERT: "Of course, we won't know the official numbers until the Congressional Budget Office releases its report which by law it must do for any bill over $5 billion. With one -- this is kind of funny -- exception. Thanks to new rules passed by the Republicans, this law shall not apply to repealing the Affordable Care Act. That's right. The GOP is so confident the repeal will save money, that they don't want to know if that's true. And if Congress can make it illegal for us to know how much it costs to repeal ObamaCare, I think they might have stumbled on the replacement. Just make it illegal for your doctor to tell you your diagnosis. That way -- that way you'll need insurance as far as you know. 'Well, Mr. Johnston, I have your chart right here. Let's see. And I can't legally tell you how you are. Uh, just make the most of your day. And here's a hint, don't worry about the expiration dates on your food. Your milk's going to be fine.' So Republicans -- so Republicans are right to keep news the dark. I know when someone is screwing me, I like to keep the lights off. And that's the word."