COLBERT: Speaking of Donald Trump's loved ones, yesterday it was announced that Ivanka Trump will become a federal employee in the White House, serving as the president's "Eyes and ears." Yeah, yeah, eyes and ears. No word yet on who will be operating his brain. Yay! Brain! Very happy to get this man -- bring your daughter to govern day. So he's hired his daughter as assistant to the president, his son-in-law as his senior adviser, and put Eric and Donald junior in charge of the national hair gel reserve. Anyway -- it's always 1985."