FRANKEN: "See, as a baby, Rob was routinely beaten, by his father, Carl. On a typical night, Carl would slip into Rob's bed, roll him over, swab him down, and say something like, 'I'm thinking about hiring Morey Amsterdam to play Buddy Sorrell; what do you think?' While the success of the Dick Van Dyke Show changed things, dramatically, Carl started inviting many of his famous friends to (bleep) his son."