KIMMEL: “Today, it was a historic day, a holy day, maybe even an a-holy day. His holiness met his biglyness at the Vatican today. President Trump happened to be in Italy so he stopped by to say hello to Pope Francis. It went well. There were no major incidents. Trump felt very at home at the Vatican. He said it reminded him of one of the bathrooms at his house. The Pope made it clear that he would like our president to join him in promoting peace, giving aid to the poor, and protecting our environment. The Pope is very persuasive. Unfortunately, Trump is only in year 70 of his 100-year deal with the devil right now and he’s got a no-trade clause. It’s very unlikely he would switch teams.”