RUSH EXCERPT:
NOAH: "So once again President Trump did not fail to disappoint. But you know what? There is really nothing to worry about because we've already seen Donald Trump can handle the drug crisis all by himself.
TRUMP [clip]: "Raise your hands, kids, I promise Donald J. Trump -- that I will never take drugs -- I don't want to say no alcohol, but take it easy on the alcohol, right? And you know what else? No cigarettes, right? All right, kids."
NOAH: "He's the best American Trump president ever! We'll be right back!"