EXCERPT:
NOAH: “But aside from trying to 'Miss Doubtfire' their falling population problem, Japan is trying to everything to figure out why their people aren’t having more babies. Look, I’m not a scientist, but if you ask me, maybe it’s because they invented the Play Station. Yeah. That thing has prevented more pregnancies than every condom, diaphragm and IUD ever made. Ever! ( applause ) That’s real birth control. Yeah. He will be like, "All right, baby, ready to have some sex? We’ll have real sex tonight — let me finish this mission. Oh shit, I just left the RPG! Yo! boys get online! We’re going all night! Baby, you’re probably going to want to live the rest of your life without me. Yeah!" Now, if we had more time, we could talk about how Japan is a warning to every developed country in the world that if your immigration policies are too restrictive, at some point your population is going to collapse. Or, if we have time, we can have so much fun talking about how Japan has a "Secretary of Raw Dogging."”