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82 Terrible Things Global Warming Will Apparently Cause

82 Terrible Things Global Warming Will Apparently Cause

As everyone knows global warming will kill us all in as little as 12, 11, 10 years. 

But it’s actually way worse than that. 

Global warming — caused of course by corporate greed/gas guzzling SUVs/supersized hamburgers/greedy, fat, stupid Americans, etc. — is being predicted to cause all manner of disaster.

Scientists eager to terrify people into taking them seriously have over the last several decades made a series of frightful predictions.

For example, did you know man-made global warming will result more miscarriages in Bangladesh? It’s true, the BBC said so.

Or that our changing climate — again due almost exclusively to our rampant consumerism and the overwhelming influence of the Big Straw lobby — will result in fewer circumcisions in some African tribes? Scientists say it’s so! 

Some of these predictions, however, somehow never came to pass. For example, scientists in 2007 warned that the arctic would be “ice free” by 2013, yet today are trying to figure out why arctic ice is instead increasing

Man-made climate change was also predicted to kill thousands of Brits — by 2018. Whoops

To keep track of these scientists’ most bizarre, and most terrifying, doomsday prophesies, we’ve started the news list below. And as you already know, 97 percent of scientists agree you should read it, bookmark it, and share it with it with your friends.

Editor’s Note: What did we miss? If you’ve seen other terrifying predictions of what our sins against the climate will cause, please add them over at our sister site,

Summary Date Source
'Making mountaineering riskier' 11/01/2019 BBC
'Thermostat gender bias' 01/14/2019 Forbes
25 percent of bridges to collapse 10/23/2019 New Scientist
Acne 07/03/2009 Indian Journal of Dermatology
AIDS 01/10/2017 The Conversation
Airplane turbulence 03/11/2019 Forbes
All aspects of life in Asia worsening 03/18/2014 The Third Pole
Allergies 06/10/2013 Newsweek
An end to walking in the woods 03/11/2019 CNN
Asthma 07/02/2013 Medscape
Bumpier airplane rides 04/08/2013 HuffPost
Cannibalism 04/01/2008 PBS
Child sex trafficking 04/05/2019 Associated Press
Chocolate shortages 02/14/2012 Los Angeles Times
Coffee that tastes bad 06/21/2017 CNN
Death of 100 million people by 2030 09/25/2012 Reuters
Death of farm animals 04/11/2013 U.S. News & World Report
Death of thousands of Brits -- by 2018 02/12/2008 The Guardian
Different colored oceans 02/04/2019 CNN
Disrupting ratio of male-to-female babies 01/23/2019 CNN
Dogs to be 'bridge food' for unemployed masses 05/01/2014 The Guardian
Earth looking like Venus 07/05/2017 BBC
Elder death 07/23/2012 Climate Central
End of snow in Tahoe 01/26/2021 SF Gate
End of the Jersey Shore by 2030 03/15/2012 CBS News
Extinction of 1,000,000 species 05/06/2019 The New York Times
Extinction of humanity 08/11/2008 The Guardian
Fewer circumcisions in Africa 11/03/2007 The Age
Fewer wolverines 02/01/2013 The Guardian
Flesh-eating bacteria 07/30/2014 CBS News
Food tasting bad 03/20/2015 Vice
Football sized horses 11/06/2013 Yahoo!
Genocide in Darfur 04/01/2007 The Atlantic
Global catastrophe -- by 2020 03/26/2012 Reuters
Global conflicts 10/20/2018 The Guardian
Heat-related illnesses 01/30/2020 CNN
Hurricanes 10/23/2001 Salon
Internet going offline 07/16/2018 University of Oregon
Large accumulations of 'rock snot' 05/10/2014 Charleston Gazette-Mail
Less productive workdays 04/23/2014 The Tico Times
Less sex 11/02/2015 Bloomberg
Locust invasion 01/24/2020 Associated Press
Make us look different 09/07/2018 NBC News
Mental health issues 10/09/2018 The Daily Mail
Miscarriages in Bangladesh 11/26/2018 BBC
More kidney stones 07/10/2014 Science Daily
More man-eating tigers 05/17/2019 Newsweek
More murder in Chicago 01/30/2013 The Daily Caller
More prostitution 04/29/2013 The Hill
More rats 05/22/2019 Axios
More shark attacks 10/19/2020 CNN
New diseases 01/30/2020 CNN
No more air travel 06/20/2017 The New York Times
No more almonds 06/25/2019 Vox
No more avocados 06/25/2019 Vox
No more beer 10/15/2018 The Hill
No more berries 06/25/2019 Vox
No more coffee 06/25/2019 Vox
No more ice hockey 07/25/2014 Bleacher Report
No more ice in the arctic -- by 2013 12/12/2017 BBC
No more ice in the arctic -- by 2018 06/23/2008 USA Today
No more Joshua trees 08/31/2019 CBS News
No more rain 07/01/1988 Portsmouth Daily Times
No more redheads 08/21/2014 The Daily Record
No more wine 06/25/2019 Vox
Old people getting sick 12/03/2013 Medscape
Organs in your body not working 07/25/2017 Climate Depot
Police shootings like in Ferguson 09/17/2014 National Review
Return of bus-sized snakes 11/06/2013 Yahoo! News
Rise, expansion of Boko Haram 05/09/2014 The Guardian
Russia to control world's food supply 03/12/2014 Los Angeles Times
Shrinking Penises 03/24/2021 Sky News
Shrinking salamanders 03/25/2014 Watts Up With That?
Smaller reindeer 12/11/2016 AFP
Stonehenge being topped by moles 05/27/2016 The Daily Mail
Suicide 07/31/2017 The Guardian
Superbugs 05/23/2014 Medscape
Too many homeruns 04/30/2012 Scientific American
Too much Antarctic ice 10/10/2012 Associated Press
UK weather too wet, dry, hot, & cold 03/25/2014 The Guardian
Vaccine spoilage 06/24/2014 Reuters
Webbed feet in humans 01/13/2016 The Daily Mail
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