EXCERPT:
TRUMP: “I am pleased to announce, that today’s lucky bird and guest of honor is named Peas, along with his alternate, named Carrots. The children will understand. The winner of this vote was decided by a fair and open election conducted on the White House web site. This was a fair election. Unfortunately, Carrots refused to concede and demanded a recount and we are still fighting with Carrots. And I will tell you we’ve come to a conclusion, Carrots, I’m sorry to tell you, the result did not change. It's too bad for Carrots.”