RUSH EXCERPT:
HANDLER: “Or just waited for it to get stuck in a ceiling fan? Did we really need the fighter jets to turn this thing into the world’s saddest used condom? But hey, why not shoot it when you have a trillion dollar defense budget and all of these rock-hard missiles lying around. Trump must be so jealous. What I don’t get is, why does trying to even need to send this balloon in the first place? They are already spying on us with tiktok. Is it possible that the Chinese spies became the first people ever to get sick of tiktok? Were they like, I swear to god, if I see one more basic bitch make a lasagna and a slow cooker cooker.”