EXCERPT:
COLBERT: “At first, the Chinese responded in state-owned media: “To be honest, the Chinese are relieved to hear the news, because the fewer U.S. officials come, the fewer viruses will be brought in.” Hey, hey, China, not cool! No one knows exactly how the virus emerged, but we know it didn’t start here. The only wet market we have in America is that subway station with a lady selling Churros under the mystery drip. Knock it off.”