Colbert to Conservative Media: Triumph & My Folks Are Only Guilty of ‘First Degree Puppetry’

EXCERPT:

COLBERT: “So, the Capitol police were just doing their job, my staff was just doing their job. Everyone was very professional. Everyone was very calm. My staffers were detained, processed, and released. A very unpleasant experience for my staff, a lot of paperwork for the Capitol police. But a fairly simple story. Until... the next night, when a couple of ’the TV people’ started claiming that my puppet squad had, “committed insurrection at the U.S. Capitol Building.” # first of all, "What? Second of all, "Huh? Third of all, they weren’t in the Capitol Building. Fourth of all, and I’m shocked I have to explain the difference, but an insurrection involves disrupting the lawful actions of Congress and howling for the blood of elected leaders, all to prevent the peaceful transfer of power. This was first degree puppetry. This was hi-jinxs with intent to goof. Misappropriation of an old “Conan” bit.”