EXCERPT:
COLBERT: “What’s a guy gotta do? All due respect to my dear friend James Tiberius Kimmel, but if the DoJ thugs are kicking down doors to round up the late-night chuckleheads to drag us off to Mar-a-Gulago, to be assassinated, I should get more than “And the rest.” I don’t appreciate the Mary Ann and Professor treatment here. My name— My name— my name is Stephen Colbert. My name should be in lights on the stadium where they’re executing us for our terrible impressions of him.”