EXCERPT:
COLBERT: "The big news today is the big news from Monday. Donald Trump won the Iowa caucus with 51% of the vote. Iowa, apparently, short for 'I-O-wanna live in a democracy anymore. I-o-wanna.' Now, Trump’s victory was so decisive that the Associated Press declared him the winner before many Iowans had even cast their votes. Which feels just a tad premature.”