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Colbert Recommends ‘Conscience-Canceling Headphones’ for GOP Senators

‘Today, even the most partisan senator can find it challenging to ignore damning testimony’
By Grabien Staff

RUSH EXCERPT:

FICTIONAL AUDIO EXPERT: “Today, even the most partisan senator can find it challenging to ignore damning testimony. Hello. I’m mendelsean sound technician for quadruple, introducing conscience-canceling headphones. The only headphones that cancel both ambient noise and your own sense of what’s right. These are beautifully designed with an attractive mesh stitched “R” for Republican. Here’s how they work — the headphones use ultra sensitive microphones to locate the tiny voice of reason in your head.”

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