If Elon Musk so much as trims government fat, the media hears the revving of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre sequel.
In our latest supercut, we chronicle the breathless panic among pundits and politicos over Musk’s “chainsaw” — a metaphor they clung to with such frequency, you’d think he was dismembering Washington with a literal blade.
Here are just a few of the greatest hits from the Chainsaw Chorus:
“He’s decapitating lives.” — MSNBC’s Michael Steele, who apparently believes bureaucratic layoffs now come with actual beheadings.
“A bedazzled chainsaw!” — CNBC’s Stephanie Ruhle, bringing rhinestones to the horror movie.
“Unelected manchild with a pretend chainsaw.” — CNN’s S.E. Cupp, blending psychological diagnosis with toy-store imagery.
“Nine months pregnant… with Elon Musk’s chainsaw.” — Nicolle Wallace. No comment.
“Right-hand chainsaw man.” — Dana Bash, inventing a superhero no one asked for.
From Jimmy Kimmel to Jen Psaki, from MSNBC panels to late-night monologues, the chainsaw metaphor spread faster than a Washington leak. By the time Rep. Hakeem Jeffries accused Musk of “taking a chainsaw to Social Security,” it was clear: this wasn’t reporting — it was mass metaphor hysteria.
Never mind that Musk’s “Department of Government Efficiency” (DOGE) hasn’t fired a single actual blade. In the Beltway’s fever dream, he’s Leatherface with a Twitter account.
Watch the supercut — and remember, when the media starts sawing the same narrative in unison, it’s probably not journalism. It’s performance art.