EXCERPT:
BAUTISTA: "Fellows, we gotta talk. A lot of men seem to think that Donald Trump is some kind of tough guy. He’s not. I mean, look at him. He wears more makeup than Dolly Parton, whines like a baby, the guy’s afraid of birds. Donald Trump had his daddy pay a doctor to say his little feet hurt so he could dodge the draft. Look at that gut. Looks like a garbage bag full of buttermilk. He sells imaginary baseball cards pretending to be a cowboy fireman. Guy is barely strong enough to hold an umbrella. I mean, look how he drinks water. Like a little pink chickety. He’s got jugs. Big ones. Like Dolly Parton. He cheats at golf. He creeps around beauty pageant dressing rooms. You know that little dance he does? He looks like he’s jacking off a pair of giraffes. He's moody, he pouts, he throws tantrums."
TRUMP: "No, get those lights off!"
BAUTISTA: "He acts like a 5-year-old behind the wheel of a truck. He bends over for Putin. He’s cattier on social media than a middle school teen girl. The guy needs help walking downhill. Almost there, grandma!”