EXCERPT:
STEWART: "What is happening? The EU? Canada? Do we have any friends? I mean, Mexico, I get. Trump’s been hate-[bleep] Mexico pretty much since the escalator. That is the truth. But Canada? Ca-nada? We’re picking a fight with our most reliable and pleasant friend, the labradoodle of allies? But I guess that’s Trump tough! You know what I mean? You got to walk into the prison yard, walk right up to the one guy who really doesn’t seem to be a problem at all, and just, 'Yah! Take that, best friend, who has willingly signed up to fight in every ridiculous war we’ve ever gotten into! Let that be a lesson to the rest of the world. We are a terrible friend!' Denmark, Panama, and Canada. We’re America. We used to fight the Nazis. Now we’re scouring the globe for easy marks. What are we, like, the Jake Paul of nations?
(Cheering and Applause)
Is that what we are doing? No offense. ‘I know China’s out there, but Panama’s a legitimate fight! In fact, I’m going to call out everyone in FIFA’s CONCACAF division! Yeah! Oh, Trinidad and Tobago, you gotta gang up, huh?'”