EXCERPT:
SILVERMAN: “We’re doing great, everyone! They’re gonna let 14-year-olds work in mining, logging, and meat packing? Those are, like, the three most dangerous jobs! What, they didn’t have any openings in the Ukrainian army? You know that they have to fill these positions too. All it would take for teenagers to work in a mine is a viral TikTok called the "black lung challenge." [Applause] And these lawmakers, they know it’s dangerous, because they’re shielding the companies if the kids get killed on the job. On the bright side, they will have Oompa Loompas come out every time a kid dies. A little Wonka heavy today. I’m sure this will surprise you, but the lawmakers sponsoring these bills call themselves pro-life. Of course they are. If women aren’t forced to have babies, who’s gonna pack this goddamn meat?”