EXCERPT:
LYDIC: "Did this guy just put a cover charge on America? It’s $5 million to get in, but he’ll waive it if you bring in three hot girls with you. I mean, I guess it beats the old way of becoming a citizen, which was to marry Donald Trump, but still.
(Cheering and Applause)
I feel like immigrant stories are going to be a lot less inspiring in the future. 'My grandfather came to this country with nothing but $5 million and the clothes in his custom Louis Vuitton five-piece trunk set.' Although, I have to admit, I don’t totally hate the idea of buying your way into a country. Hey, Canada. How you doin,’ girl? I’m just going to come out and say it: I want to be in you. And listen, I don’t have $5 million, but I do have... $4, and a cough drop, and this orange hat!”