EXCERPT:
CHIENG: "No, no. This is not a scam, okay? This is a legal child in the state of Alabama, which means I get all the benefits of being a dad without having to be a dad. I get to claim him on my taxes, I get paternity leave, I can hang out at the McDonald’s ball pit without getting hassled. Best of all, he’s my excuse to get out of sh*t I don’t want to do. Which reminds me, can we wrap this up already? 'Cause I got to go feed my son."