RUSH EXCERPT:
COLBERT: “Here’s the thing. Kind of liked how dark it was. Here’s the thing — Robert Mueller didn’t come to Congress to entertain us. He’s like a doctor, reminding us that the tests have come back and our country has a terminal illness, and we’re like “Yeah, you told us in writing like three months ago. Plus, when you tried to say tumor, you said ‘tubler.’ so weak! I know half of the family asked you to come back so I would take the diagnosis seriously so we could take action so there’s still time to save my life. But your tie has gravy stain. I think we should have an investigation into how you even found out I had a tubler. And for that matter, why are you using a cat scan on a human?”