EXCERPT:
COLBERT: “Lankford buckled down, he negotiated hard with the Democrats, and he got a deal. Republicans thanked him by backing out. That is so crazy! Republicans are the ones who insisted on a border deal above everything else, and now they’re backing out. Are they lawmakers or are they five-year-olds at dinnertime? 'What do you mean you don’t want buttered noodles?! You cried all afternoon about how you wanted buttered noodles, so I made buttered noodles! You can’t suddenly want eggo waffles and to deport Guatemalans without due process! Eat your noodles!'”