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EXCERPT:
CHIENG: “You know what’s not shrinkflating? It’s celery. Maybe you should try it some time. (Laughter) By the way, if we’re going to complain about toilet paper, let’s talk about how every time I buy it, the toilet paper is like, 'Hey, there’s eight rolls, but they’re mega, so it’s 10 rolls, but really it’s actually eight rolls.' Just tell me how many [bleep] rolls there are and stop making me do math at CVS. And, look, I do think it’s a good political issue for Joe Biden to focus on, because do you really think Americans will go to the polls to 'protect democracy?' Hell no. But if you promise to restore the number of sprinkles on their pop tarts? Record turnout.”