EXCERPT:
COLBERT: “It’s a great day to be me because I am not Donald Trump. That guy -- that guy has got a lot of problems. First of all, the Jeffrey Epstein scandal just won’t 'kill itself,' and we might have a hint why Trump hasn’t been that eager to release those files. Because according to Senator Dick Durbin, back in March, 1,000 FBI agents were put on 24-hour shifts to review approximately 100,000 Epstein-related records and instructed to flag any documents that mentioned Donald Trump. That is a suspiciously herculean effort. All the kings horses and all the kings men couldn’t hide who dumpty-humped with his friend.”