EXCERPT:
COLBERT: “I don’t actually know what they are. I think each Dow is like a ticket at Chuck E. Cheese. When it was at 25,000, America could get a stuffed bunny. Now we’re at 30,000, and we could go for the bear or the big lion, or the full-sized football. Anyway, whatever they are, it’s a lot of them. So, to everyone who works on Wall Street, congratulations. And to everyone who doesn’t work on Wall Street, good luck with that.”