EXCERPT:
COLBERT: “He continued, “Full disclosure, I’ve been drinking, so I don’t know how to fix this. Hold up, I just gotta drive over to the Genius bar.” So, maybe not the perfect candidate, but at least the Republicans were this close to having a functioning government, which is, of course, Donald Trump’s mortal enemy. So, this afternoon, he truthed: “I have many wonderful friends wanting to be speaker of the House, and some are truly great warriors. RINO Tom Emmer, who I do not know well, is not one of them.” Ohhhh, so close! Obviously, that eliminated the chances for Tom Emmer. But, has Donald Trump ever met: Emmer Tom?”