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EXCERPT:
COLBERT: "Trump was clearly worried how the Dow would react to the news about the declining GDP, so he posted today before the open of the market. 'This is Biden’s stock market, not Trump’s.' Okay, but when Biden was president and the market was good, back then Trump posted: 'This is the Trump stock market because my polls against Biden are so good that investors are projecting that I will win.' 'It’s ’Freaky Friday’ rules! When Biden is president, it’s actually me. And when I’m president, it’s actually Jamie Lee Curtis. Or that redhead, whatever her name is.’"