EXCERPT:
COLBERT: “ ll these sanctions have apparently driven Putin to the brink. Yesterday, he ordered Russian nuclear forces put on high alert. Everybody doing ok? For those of you out there younger than 50, everything’s gonna be fine. If they launch the missiles, just remember to hide under your school desk. Putin explained his actions this way, “Not only do western countries take unfriendly measures against our country in the economic dimension, I mean, the illegal sanctions that everyone knows about very well. But also the top officials of leading NATO countries allow themselves to make aggressive statements in regard to our country.” Ugh. Well, I hate cover bands.“