RUSH EXCERPT:
COLBERT: “Store sent Trump a secure text message suggesting de-escalation over Greenland. The President responded: “Dear Jonas, considering your country decided not to give me the Nobel Peace Prize for having stopped 8 wars. Plus! I no longer feel an obligation to think purely of peace.” He didn’t get the Nobel Peace prize, so now he’s going to ruin peace. Same way he didn’t get an Emmy for his reality show, so he ruined reality. [Cheers and applause] Just give him the prize. Just give him the thing. Is it worth it? Just give him whatever he wants.”