EXCERPT:
COLBERT: “The judge in the case seemed highly skeptical of this lawsuit so to get around the court’s oversight, yesterday, Trump’s lawyers and Trump’s DoJ -- him on both sides, agreed to drop the case and set up the slush fund. And who exactly is this fund slushing? Well, one group of lucky slushees could be people prosecuted in connection with the January 6th capitol riot.
[Booing]
That means people who stormed the Capitol, rubbed their poop on the walls, assaulted police officers, and tried to hang Vice President Mike Pence could be getting this cash. But they won’t, ’cause Trump’s gonna steal it. Why is that my educated guess? Because the funds are going to be managed by a five-person commission appointed by the attorney general, though Trump would have the right to remove any member at will. So I’d like to congratulate the inaugural commission for Donald Trump’s slush fund: Marco Rubio, Marco Rubio, Marco Rubio, Marco Rubio, and Marco Rubio.”