RUSH EXCERPT:
COLBERT: “There recently have been momentous world-shaking events, and let’s get right to the big story everybody’s talking about. The 77th annual golden globe awards ceremony! Oh! It was a night of glitz and glamour, and God help us, we might be going to war with Iran. All the stars were there as we inch closer to yet another tragically ill-considered military conflict, including Salma Hayek, whose Gucci dress featured a neckline that didn’t leave much to the imagination. Unless you’re imagining an endless quagmire in the Middle East. Because this is it, folks. This is what’s been keeping you up at night for the last three years! It wasn’t the baggy suits, it wasn’t covfefe, it was his ability to wage war with no understanding of the consequences. And no one can stop him.”