RUSH EXCERPT:
FARBLAH: “Good evening, I’m Dr. Bill farblah, chief of gastroenterology. I wanted to dispel any rumors about the president’s unscheduled medical appointment at Walter reed hospital. It was a routine procedure. He is fine — though, during the exam, it was determined that the president had a blockage in his lower G.I. Tract, when it was discovered that several Republican members of Congress had lodged their heads in his — uh — quid pro quo hole. We immediately attempted to remove the G.O.P. Congressmen’s heads, but, once out, they would hear more Ukraine testimony and would dive back in there. Situation was much like puppies in a box. Eventually, using forceps, we were successful in extracting the heads of Jim Jordan and Devin Nunes, and, as we speak, we are sending in a team of specialists to try to locate Lindsey Graham — he’s way up there.”