EXCERPT:
KIMMEL: “We’ve had a helluva couple of weeks, but I did get some exciting news this weekend. According to a new poll from YouGov, which is a serious polling site,or they were before this, I am more popular than the president of the United States.
(Cheering and Applause)
Thank you. You know — you remember the guy who keeps saying I have no ratings? Well, that makes two of us. They polled more than a thousand people, and I lead Trump by 16 points. I’m at plus 3, he’s at minus 13.
(Cheering and Applause)
Which is nice, but it feels like, considering the fact that I’m not a convicted felon friend of Jeffrey Epstein and I’ve never paid off a porn star, sent a team of masked goons into a park to pull an old lady away from her grandchildren to throw her into a van, I feel like my rating should be higher maybe? At this point, finding a toenail in your salad has a seven-point lead over Donald Trump.”