EXCERPT:
KIMMEL: “The Situation Room, historically is used for wars and military strikes. This time they used it to try to defuse a naughty birthday card their boss made for a pedophile friend of his. The president was not in the Situation Room. He was busy in the constipation room.
[Laughter]
His inner circle was all there to have what they described as a surreal meeting detailing allegations that Trump had a nipple fetish. J.D. Vance said he thought the president would be okay with releasing the nipple-related documents, arguing that he had been accused of worse.
[Laughter]
Please, calm down. It’s a nipple, won’t make a ripple with this guy.
[Laughter]
Can you imagine if this happened in Trump’s first term? Imagine Mike Pence having to deal with nipple-related email.
[Laughter]
He’d be in a cold shower for two weeks.
[Laughter]
Mother would have to do an exorcism on him.”