EXCERPT:
They have a state law designed to protect children from education and they’re reviewing the dictionary. If the review holds, kids won’t be able to get a dictionary at the library at school. If they want to look up a word, they’ll have to go on the internet where there is no sexually explicit material at all.
(Laughter)
What a state! While you’re at it, why not ban the word 'dictionary?' From here on, they’ll be called 'tionary.' No dick allowed.
(Laughter)
The district pulled five dictionaries, eight encyclopedias and 'The Guinness Book of World Records' from the shelves. They’re also reviewing the biographies of Beyoncé, Oprah and 'The Diary of Anne Frank,' which is filthy, by the way, pure pornography. What year is it? They’re also planning to ban calculators so students can’t type out 58008 and turn it upside down.”