EXCERPT:
KIMMEL: “According to a report in the “Wall Street Journal,” Trump has repeatedly promised to pardon everyone in his orbit. He has promised to pardon anyone who comes within 200 feet of the Oval Office. Basically everyone but Melania will get a pardon when he goes. [Laughter] It’s unclear if he was being serious or if this is one of those things that starts out as a joke but then actually happens. Like him being the president of the United States.[Laughter] [Applause] It’s interesting. Because during his first four years in office, Trump granted 144 pardons. So far, not even halfway into this one, he’s already pardoned 1,600 deserving patriots. What a forgiving — maybe he really is Jesus, you know?[Laughter] 1,600? That must be every pedophile he knows. Then he says the pope is weak on crime.”