RUSH TRANSCRIPT:
KIMMEL: "Christmas eve is going to be a week away and it doesn’t look like it’s going to be a very jolly one for the president of the United States. Santa is bringing a stocking full of problems to Donald Trump. It has been a terrible holiday season for him. He’s facing multiple criminal investigations. He’s losing cabinet members. He lost the house, and on top of everything else the DNA test he came back and Eric and Donald Jr. Are his. That’s very sad. Trump is so frustrated right now. He wants to build that wall just to bang his head against it. He was tweeting his emotions over the weekend. Yesterday he wrote a real scandal is the one-sided coverage hour by hour of networks like NBC and Democrat spin machines like “Saturday night live.” It is all nothing less than unfair news coverage and DEM commercials. Should be tested in court. Can’t be legal. Only defame and belittle. Collusion?
[ Laughter ] No, not collusion. Collusion is that thing you did with Russia. Remember when he was running for president and he said he would come up with a plan to stop ISIS in 30 days. We’re two years in, he can’t even stop “Saturday night live.” Fever mind ISIS. And then he blasted out at his former lawyer Michael Cohen sentenced to three years for multiple crimes including illegal hush money payments to his mistresses. Remember, he wrote Michael Cohen only became a rat after the FBI did something which was unthinkable and unheard of until the witch hunt was started. They broke into an attorney’s office. Why didn’t they break into the DNC and get into crooked’s office and broken they meant they went in and got a search warrant and went in unannounced like the FBI always does. He’s not even claiming to be innocent. He just wants other people to get in trouble, too. We’re a month away from the president tweeting snitches get stitches. Now, the president’s — Michael Cohen is the president’s former lawyer."