EXCERPT:
NOAH: “But of course, Andrew Giuliani isn’t just running as the son of America’s only living gargoyle, he’s also running off his extensive experience as President Trump’s sports liaison. I know some people think sports liaison, sounds like a bullshit job, like influencer or consultant or astronaut. But personally, I think he crushed it as the sports liaison. Who do you think helped Trump get the championship teams all those cheeseburgers? You think it’s easy explaining to Uber eats that ordering 500 burgers was not a mistake?”