EXCERPT:
NOAH: “Also, good luck boycotting Starbucks. Yeah. How are you going to boycott America’s number one bathroom provider? Because, I mean, I’ve got principles but my number one principle is to not go number two in my pants. But still man, the fact that people even jump to this just shows you how polarized America is. You can’t even buy coffee or clothes without it being part of a culture war. You bring cookies to a party now and people will be like, "You got some balls bringing Chips Ahoy! here after what they said about panda bear rights. This is an Oreo house.” Ultimately though, these companies aren’t trying to make a political statement.”